life @ 13

it would be absurd if we did not understand both angels and devils, since we invented them - steinbeck

first off, apologies for my period of silence. i honestly didn't realize it till my last update. i actually had a post done about a week ago in the middle of the big gap, but for some reason felt it unworthy. in case you haven't heard my rant, i should let you know about my love/hate relationship with writing. i feel that i'm much better at expressing my thoughts and ideas though writing although my writing rarely lives up to my expectations so i end up doing a lot of writing and a lot of deleting. sometimes, as you have probably noticed, i just say fuck it and hit the send/post button, no matter how much i like or dislike what i wrote. as long as its coming from my head and fingers it has to be worth something, although i usually don't know what or care to really find out. maybe this is just part of the beauty of our mostly one way relationship, because we all know that the words in between the lines are the clearest.
one of the great things about being at the crossroads is how you get to not only an oppertune chance to look at the function and machinery of languages but the ability to quantify their significance in how we define ourselves and our world. in the central park in antigua guatemala an older american man (with a hollywoodish aura) pointed out how speaking in another language is as close as one can get to having an alter-ego. just today, after translating 50 Cent from black american english to formal english to spanish i realized how ridiculously different the spoken english of my generation is from the relatively static (or at least somewhat antiquated) spanish spoken here. so many of the phrases and idioms we use are so purely absurd that even translating them into formal english is difficult if not futile. but even after speaking a little bit of spanish to a few people i'm starting to realize what i already knew; that not only is language a voracious part of how we define ourselves and our relationships with other people and the world but the sheer absurdity of how it works makes you doubt whether we can attain or communicate any meaningful knowledge through it.
i'm beginning to realize that part of the part of the purpose of this trip was to at least attempt to find some like-minded people here, maybe even some who were willing to try and forge some kind of dynasty, as like-minded people tend to do. but, even though all travellers share some similar ideas about the Way Things Are, so far i havent't found what i was looking for. which is ok, since i'm patient, willing to experiment and have come to expect that i'm rarely content with the given answers anyway. expect the rest of the Why I'm Here report to trickle in as time passes, and as i get the chance to use computers in people's living rooms, especially the ones i fixed.
being a little bored staying in one place and even though i like it here, my best next move is to hop on the bike and go. for me, the next goal is nicaragua, about 600 miles or so from here. having unintentionally convinced another fellow traveller of the joys of biking -- here, in particular -- i will have a companion, a student, a tanto, for a little while. being that we are like-minded americanos and share similar ideas on how to to travel (and how and why to find a latina girlfriend), the next couple of weeks should be a real kick in the pants. either that or we'll be punching each other in the face. either way, something will happen. stay tuned, i hear there are internet cafes aplenty in el salvador.